I had the
happy privilege of witnessing my close friend’s wedding a few weekends ago. It
had been a day that we had been anticipating for a long time. The thing about
weddings is that so much time goes into planning them, which is evident in
every wedding I have attended. Every detail is planned out: the invitations,
flowers, music, food, desert, and even if you are very lucky, a choreographed
dance sometimes. But I don’t think any of those details account for the intense
joy felt when witnessing the sacrament. As I was watching my radiant friend
walk down the aisle, I was trying to pinpoint why this sacrament in particular
spreads such palpable joy to those who witness it.
Without a doubt, we encounter God in
every sacrament but I think it is invigorating to see people today make a
promise. Everybody likes to see two people in love, but even more to see people
make a definitive commitment that brings permanence to their love.
There are so many wonderful aspects
to a wedding but my favorite part is the moment when the two people make vows
that they intend to keep: “I promise to be true to you in good times and in
bad, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor you all the days of
my life”. Sometimes I find it hard to commit to returning my library books on
time, or to volunteer for a yearlong commitment, yet here I am in a marriage
that I have promised to stay in until I die. It is exciting to see other people
do this because I love to see people keep their promises, especially when they
have no idea what it may entail or how hard it may be to keep.
This lifelong promise is impossible
for two people to keep. To love and honor one person all the days of one’s life
is truly impossible. But luckily for Catholics we are not alone and with God
anything is possible. “Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love
becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man”
CCC 1604. When couples are faithful to their vows it reminds us that we have a
God who keeps His promises.
In his homily the priest reminded us
that after the couple takes their vows something new exists that didn't exist before.
Marriage is when two people make impossible vows to one another that God seals
and then makes possible through His divine love. It is not the same as two
people who really love each other, it is something entirely different. Once the
promise is made, the couple is bound and no one has the authority to say that
they are not, not the couple, not the Catholic Church, not the priest, because
a concrete union is formed that cannot be broken until death- that is romantic.
It is romantic because it gives us hope in humanity and it gives us something
to believe in. It is a greater view of love than any romantic gesture or florid
words.
Unfortunately we see people break
promises every day. We have seen divorce and even some of the most promising
couples’ relationships crumble but we cannot lose hope. We must persevere in
prayer for married couples that they rely on the example of love set out by
God, the author of marriage; His example of total love in bearing anything to
uphold His promise of salvation to His people: humiliation, pain, death, the
cross. If God could endure that to keep His promise, surely we can accept His
help to keep ours.
